angienano ([info]angienano) wrote,
@ 2007-11-02 00:02:00
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Chunk 1
Like I did last year, I'm posting each day's whatever. The breaks will be wherever I was at midnight and probably won't coincide with any actual scene or chapter breaks, so keep that in mind while you read.

I spent most of today banging out notes and not much time actually writing. I'm actually at a little under a thousand words right now; I'd have quite a bit more if we were allowed to count said notes, alas. :) After last year, though, I'm less uptight about daily wordcounts. I feel good about this one and I think I have more of a handle on where I'm going and how I'm going to get there than I did at this time last year.

This one's a fantasy, although there won't be all that much magic in it. It'll be smutty eventually but probably not for a while. I know, so what else is new? ;)

====================

Swords and Shadows

Chapter One

Luka Tevarion peered down the street into the lengthening twilight and debated one more time going out to look for Tochi. There was no one visible directly outside the walls of his school but he could hear angry shouts and pained screams and the wordless roar of riot drifting by on the evening breeze off Lake Smedevo on the other side of the city.

Tochi was one of his best students, at twenty-six nearly ready for the black and red badge of a swordsmaster; he was spinning death with the two swords and was better than Luka himself with a pair of longknives. Luka had sent him with Luka's sister Lena and their mother to hide in the ossuary vaults, where the bones of the dead rested. He'd heard others talking of sending their women and children there, a few days ago when the last of the granaries in the southern district of the city -- the one only five streets from the school -- had been stormed by starving rioters.

It had sounded like a good notion at the time. There was nothing down there to attract anyone, neither to eat nor to loot, and the vaults were built deep into the bedrock beneath Parakovac Ruvor. The city rose high above the lake on solid cliffs, elevated above its surrounding rough hills and defended by both the landscape and its heavy fortifications. Its place on the shores of the Smedevo and at the juncture of two heavily trafficked rivers put it at the crossroads of the east and foreign armies without number had marched through their lands and even attacked their walls. The city had never fallen, though.

Never before.

And Luka was sure it wouldn't now, not even with the might of the Molani Empire arrayed below its walls and the blue and gold striped sails of their ships blockading it from the water. The Molani had formed, by both wealth and conquest, the greatest empire known since the Age of Heroes, but armies were expensive to maintain, especially in the barren land around a city built on trade, and navies likewise, and Luka was sure the Molani would withdraw their seige before the city fell. He couldn't imagine otherwise.

Neither could he imagine that Tochi had run into trouble on the way to the ossuary vaults, when he had the women with him. The delay had to have been on his way back; anything else was unthinkable.

Up the street echoed the heavy impact of running feet -- too many feet to be Tochi, unless he were being chased, which was all too possible. Luka stepped over the threshold and murmured to the students behind him to close the gate, and bar it if he shouted. If it were Tochi, he wanted to be able to help, but if it were a mob he wanted the courtyard secure.

The glow of torches appeared around the corner, lighting a crush of moving bodies. Out in front, away from the light, a single figure ran, although not fast enough for someone being chased. A few moments later, Tochi trotted up and saluted with a fist to his shoulder.

"They caught some poor bugger!" he called, his voice a mixture of revulsion and excitement. "No one knows him so they've decided he's a spy."

"That's ridiculous," Luka retorted. "The city's packed with stranded travellers and refugees from the villages. There must be ten thousand people no one would know."

Tochi shrugged. "That's too much sense for a mob."

Luka nodded. People were hungry and frightened and angry and any excuse to focus it all on something concrete, someone mortal, would be seized.

It looked like there were about a dozen people in the approaching group. Not quite a mob, then, although more than enough to overwhelm one man, especially if it were some poor farmer or herdsman with no fighting skill beyond a sling or bow. He stepped up onto the narrow curb just outside the school gate and gestured Tochi to stand next to him. Something compelled him to watch the flickering cluster of light and dark and bodies as it approached him.

When they came within a few paces, he was able to recognize a handful of the men. One of the ones with a fierce grip on the supposed spy in their midst was Halvic, a silversmith whose shop was in the next street. A burly carpenter's apprentice had a hold of the prisoner's ragged jerkin from behind, and carrying one of the torches was a brewer whose inn had had neither food nor beer to sell for the past two weeks.

The man they were hauling along was of average height, sturdy and strong looking, with no extra fat on him. That was common enough; in a city under seige, only the very rich who'd started out grossly fat had any extra by the fourth month. The man's clothes were plain and sturdy although well worn. The jerkin might have belonged to a poor craftsman, the shirt to a farmer, the breeches to a soldier. It was impossible to judge his place by the look of him, and that alone would likely have been enough to raise suspicions, with nerves stretched as taut as they were.

He might well be a spy, Luka thought with a mental smirk. He could just as easily be any poor man whose clothes came from a second-hand shop or from a charity bin.



(19 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]liriel1810
2007-11-02 10:01 am UTC (link)
Interesting start!

I'll be very interested to see how you proceed with this. Will Luka and Tochi save the poor guy the mob have grabbed? Is he a spy in truth, or just some hapless stranded traveller? All will be revealed, eventually, right? *grin*

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[info]angiepen
2007-11-02 02:07 pm UTC (link)
Thanks! And yes, more tomorrow. :D

Angie

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[info]aleathiel
2007-11-02 02:32 pm UTC (link)
I see this and I realised I didn't post mine yesterday. Oops. Not reading until I've written enough (or until I run out of time and have to go to work) but I will be back. Damn you temptress - I shouldn't have looked!

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[info]angiepen
2007-11-02 02:40 pm UTC (link)
Sorry! ;)

Angie

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[info]amygirl
2007-11-02 03:21 pm UTC (link)
Oh very nice...I love a good "fantasy" type story and this certainly dragged me into and interesting world the very first paragraphs. Can't wait to read more tomorrow.

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[info]angienano
2007-11-02 03:38 pm UTC (link)
Thanks, hon. :D More after midnight.

Angie

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[info]alea_nano
2007-11-02 04:27 pm UTC (link)
Okay, so I'm weak. I've posted what I've got so far and then I will go back.

Immediate thoughts:
1. How come you've managed to come up with names so quickly and I've had these places in my head for ages and can't come up with names I like? Actually, that's probably why, isn't it. Grr.

2. I'm interested. Good solid setting, comes across as medieval-Europish (I just invented that word) with some nice potential in location. Clearly something interesting going on economically and socially. I like that it has a sense of history - I would be interested to hear bits of that, but it is entirely possible you aren't going in that direction. Was just interested in the idea that lots of armies have in the past been roaming around this landscape. What there they doing there? Is it a series of rival city states?

3. Luka. Seems a nice caring guy, then you have him smirking at some poor guy's misfortune right at the end. Does he have a nasty streak? Or is he just putting his own people first?

4. I am already in love with Tochi and I don't even know anything about him.

5. Is the guy a spy? Does it even matter? Is what happens to him going to affect Luka and Tochi?

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[info]angienano
2007-11-02 04:48 pm UTC (link)
1. Secret for Naming: I came up with a couple of names on my own, but then for the others, including most of the place names, I Googled a map of... I don't remember where, some Eastern European country (Estonia?) and used the place names on the map as a source of sounds for the language. I'm snagging names for Ruvor from sort of generic Eastern Europe -- since they have been the battleground of choice for the last millenium or two, I figure there's probably a mash of names represented in the area, for people as well as geographic details. That means I can wander around that area of the map looking for more naming ideas, and it won't matter if someone who's actually from there thinks, "Wait! That one name sounded Albanian but this one sounds Estonian!" [wry smile] The Molani Empire is loosely based on Rome, sort of, as much as is convenient and only that much, and I'm familiar enough with Latinish names that I can just fake those reasonably well. Although I'm not going to use Latin Latin -- I'll probably slide forward a thousand years or so and grab from various Latinate languages, as strikes my fancy. [likes worldbuilding in a fantasy setting :) ]

2. I love medieval European economics. [duck] Yes, I'm weird. There's a lot to be done with it, though, because they were a lot more sophisticated than is usually believed. Most of that will probably be background, but who knows? But yes, I'm deliberately building in a sense of history, of things having happened in the past. I'm always dissatisfied with fantasies (or SF for that matter) where it feels like the setting is just sort of floating in space, with no cultural or historical roots or foundation. If you're getting a sense of history already then I'm very pleased. :D

3. Humm. The simple answer is "yes." :) What he was actually smirking at was the notion that this poor guy could be a spy. Maybe I should've had him eyeroll instead, but a smirk seemed to fit. It's sort of a, "Jeez, these people are morons!" kind of mental comment. On the other hand, if the guy is a spy then he'd help string him up himself. The Molani have caused a lot of damage and hardship and there's going to be more -- even if they went away tomorrow, it'd take a long time for Ruvor to really recover. Luka has no sympathy whatsoever for the Molani or anyone who'd help them. And yes, I'd say he also has a strong us/them division in his mind. But then, back then most people did.

4. Umm.... I'll, umm, have to find something for him to do beyond this scene, then. [duck] Seriously, glad you like him. :)

5. Well, the mob certainly thinks so. Right now he's more a focus for everyone's pent-up fear and rage and frustration. It could've been anyone. :/

Angie

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[info]alea_nano
2007-11-02 04:58 pm UTC (link)
No no no, you aren't allowed to throw Tochi away. I would be very disappointed. He's sweet and eager and probably not that intelligent, although that said isn't he a very good swordsman? He needs to be an important pupil of Luka's, even if he's only ever a follower, he needs a little mini-plot :)

Yes, I think you very much did set a historical scene. Which really pleased me, because I am in absolute agreement with you about settings that float about without any kind of historical anchor. It's good that you have a sense of what was/is going on in the area outside that of the main plot.

I'm interested to read more!

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[info]alea_nano
2007-11-02 04:59 pm UTC (link)
Huh, that was meant to be a reply, not a new comment. Oops.

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[info]angienano
2007-11-02 05:03 pm UTC (link)
No prob -- they both end up in the same mailbox. [grin]

And all right, I'll try to think of something for Tochi to do. It's going to be tough, though, a couple of chapters along, because fairly soon, everything is going to change for Luka. [ponder]

OK, how about this -- if I can't work Tochi into the rest of this story, I'll write a sequel about him later. [duck]

Angie

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[info]alea_nano
2007-11-02 05:08 pm UTC (link)
Hehe, it's okay, he's your character, you can lose interest in him if you want. I just like the idea of a young training swordsman... Somehow very sexy. Oh dear, I shouldn't conform so much to fantasy stereotypes :P

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[info]angienano
2007-11-02 05:13 pm UTC (link)
He could definitely be sexy. [grin/nod] It's just that there's not much room for him in the upcoming plotline. I could drag him along longer than I'd planned, but beyond that.... [frown/ponder] It could make for a good sequel, though, and that way he could be the protag of his own story and have his own adventure, rather than be a tag-along for Luka's. We'll see how it works out.

Angie

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[info]alea_nano
2007-11-02 05:37 pm UTC (link)
Well then, I will be content without him. I'm sure there are plenty of other sexy swordsmen in the world. Even in one or other of the worlds we are writing about. I will survive *g*

Now I'm excited about Luka's adventure (which is probably what I was meant to be excited about in the first place *g*)

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[info]angiepen
2007-11-02 05:39 pm UTC (link)
Well, yeah, heh. But it's really too early to tell, so go ahead and like whomever you want for now. ;)

And heck, Luka's pretty sexy himself. [humming]

Angie

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[info]illuminated_sin
2007-11-05 07:58 am UTC (link)
YAY! I pried apart a little bit of time tonight to start your story! :D And I like it so far! :D (I'm supposed to be researching tornado preparedness and crisis intervention, and reading chapters 2 and 7 instead, but this was more fun by a longshot! :P)

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[info]angienano
2007-11-05 08:11 am UTC (link)
Yay! :D Glad you're enjoying!

Angie

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[info]foxrafer
2007-11-07 11:05 am UTC (link)
This really is a fascinating beginning. I'm definitely a fantasy/sci fi girl so this will be a fun trip to take with you.

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[info]angienano
2007-11-07 11:08 am UTC (link)
Great! :D I've just gotten into Chapter Two, where the POV shifts and the main action begins.

Angie

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